Interview with a
- October 16, 2011
Jim: How long have you known
you were submissive?
Sarah: Umm, when I was around 11 I began to
go into puberty and several months later I got my boobs. Then I started having
these fantasies and dreams in which a big, strong man would hover over
me and be in control. I would look up feel so helpless and unable to
resist him. The whole dream was in a shadow so I never saw his face but
that didn't matter. I knew it was a man and I was powerless and had to
do whatever he said - that's what really mattered. I'd wake up so
sexually excited I'd have to masturbate to get back to sleep! Sometimes
it would happen twice in the same night.
Jim: Did you marry a dominant man?
Sarah: No, I wish I had but I didn't know then
that my dreams were more than just silly dreams. My first husband was a
real nice guy and all that, but he didn't do anything to satisfy my
fantasies so I just forgot all about them - but the dreams kept coming
When I'd wake up in the middle of the night I'd have to go to the
bathroom to masturbate to relieve myself in private.
Jim: When did you have your first
submissive encounter in the real world?
Sarah: Well there was this one time when I
was at a party at a neighbor's place. There was this guy named Don. He
began talking to me and he knew my marriage was on the rocks so he was
interested in me. We chatted for awhile and then when our conversation
turned to sexual matters he moved me over to a corner of the room
where we could talk more privately.
When I got there he quickly shoved
me into the corner and began to lean over me. I suddenly became very
excited because this was my deepest fantasy - the big, strong man
hovering over me and making me feel completely helpless. I got so
excited I kissed him and suggested we retire to the nearest motel which
we did. When we got undressed I whispered in his ear "take control of me
and I'll do anything you say". He started giving commands and I got more
and more excited with each command. It was the most sexually stimulated
I've ever been. I knew I had to have more. (nervous laugh)
That was the hottest night of my life!
Jim: How did that experience change you?
Sarah: From that night I knew I had to have
a man who could do what Don did. Unfortunately Don was married and had
to leave town when his wife got a job in Colorado so I haven't seen him
since. But now I ignore men who can't or won't satisfy my need to be
dominated. When a guy is nice to me it gets him
Jim: So most men don't understand your
Sarah: (Laughing loudly) Yea - for sure!
When I meet a man I immediately wonder if he could take control of me
and tell me what to do in a commanding voice. I picture him throwing me
down on a bed and jumping on top of me. I wonder if he could pull my
hair, slap me, spank me and make me do things I'd never considered doing
before. If they don't seem assertive - I walk away immediately. Sweet
guys bore me.
The whole thing is rather sad really. I've talked
to other submissive women and they all agree that sex with men who take
control is for us the very hottest sex there is - that's for sure! And
we all long to find that right man who can take control and make our
dreams come true - but it's very hard to find that man these days.
few men understand us. I've had men walk away when I tell them I'm kinky
and they will have to take control. I'm not sure why but I think it has
something to do with how men are supposed to be dominant and in control
in our culture, many men are very submissive in their private lives. They
want to compensate by having a lover or wife that takes control of them
and relieves them of all the responsibility they're forced to carry in
Jim: Do you think being submissive is perverted?
Sarah: No, I don't think it's
perverted at all. I mean, men are taller, bigger and stronger than women
physically so it's only natural that men have been dominating women for
It's always been a kind of a joke about
cave men beating women over the head with a big club and dragging them
back to their cave for sex. Sure it's just a joke but I think that back
then things might have been just like that.
There was no one around to stop men
from being aggressive so they just took what they wanted. The women who
resisted got less sex and had fewer babies. The submissive women got all
the sex and had far more kids.
So I feel that my submissiveness has been
bred into me over many centuries. So it's completely natural. Anyway I'm
not fighting being submissive - I enjoy it too much. I think it's God's
gift for a woman to be submissive and enjoy being with a dominant man.
It works for me.
Jim: What sort of women are submissive?
Sarah: Wow, that's a big question. They
look like any cross-section of women I guess. They come in all shapes
and sizes though I think they're more attractive than the average woman.
Some submissive women I've met are like me, they're just naturally
submissive. They have deep sexual fantasies they want to explore. They
come from our upbringing or possibly it's in our genetics, no one really
But some women are submissive for other reasons. I
know one lady who is very successful in her career. She works for a
major food company and is responsible for product distribution over half
the nation and some European countries too. She makes a six figure
salary and works long hours six days a week making decisions and
managing people. It's a very stressful job.
When she gets horny she
wants the man to make all the decisions, and make all the moves. She
wants to be completely submissive. Anything he demands is fine with her as
long as she doesn't have to be in control. Successful women like
her are often submissive I think. I've met quite a few, the more
successful they are, the more submissive they seem to be but only behind
Jim: How many men have you met who
fulfilled your submissive fantasies?
Sarah: Sh*t, not enough! When I find a man who can
take control I latch onto him as best I can. Don't want to let him go.
In my experience only one or two percent of men out there understand
submissive women so they're very rare and not easily found.
Jim: How many women do you think are
Sarah: I can only estimate from my own
conversations with friends and co-workers but I'd say that somewhere
around half of women have submissive sexual fantasies and half of those
have deep sexual fantasies that drive submissive sexual desires. I know
I'm one of them. A lot of women have the fantasy and crave meeting a man
who will take control but never act on their desires. They just ignore
the dreams and struggle to be satisfied with any sex they can get.
That's sooo sad.
Jim: What do you like most about submissive
Sarah: It's the idea that the guy can do
anything he wants to me. I don't have any control at all. I have to wait
and see what comes next, to see what he'll command me to do. I often end
up doing some extremely unusual things but I don't care. When I'm under
his control I'm so sexually turned on I just want him to touch me or
have sex with me in any way he chooses - I'm too turned on the be picky.
In that state I'm floating along and it all feels so good I don't care.
I'm his play thing and that makes me very wet.
I think I get the biggest sexual rush from giving
my man pleasure. When I hear him groaning it makes me feel wonderful to
know I'm being of service. That's the greatest sexual thrill of them all
for a submissive woman. I always ask what he most wants, what's his biggest
sexual turn on. Then if I can, I give it to him with everything I have. The desire to
serve is very strong in subs women and the desire to please is part of that.
I also like to be punished when I've made a
mistake or not followed his orders exactly. I've been spanked and even
caned many times because I didn't follow orders precisely. I enjoy the
punishment as I know it pleases him and makes me a better submissive.
The pain I feel only arouses me more and makes me more committed to
serving him as he desires.
Jim: What is Sub Space?
Sarah: It's like a drug, I mean
the effect is the same. When a dominant man takes control of me it's
like someone gave me a shot of morphine. My mind lets go and I float
along not caring about anything. It's a real high! The only way I can
describe it is - it's an ecstatic feeling. I'm getting my deepest sexual
fantasy fulfilled and it feels real, real good.
And the best part is - I know the guy is
having the same feeling. We're both on a drug-like trip - without the
drugs. It's that good!
Jim: Would you marry a man if he knew how
to take control of you?
Sarah: Sure, I'd grab him up! That's been
my dream for ages now that I've discovered how submissive I am, I mean
what's the point of going to bed with a man if they can't make you happy
and fulfill your deepest sexual desires? I go on hoping I'll find the
man of my dreams but who knows - I haven't had any real luck yet but
I'll keep looking...
Jim: Thanks for taking the time to chat
with me and thanx for letting me take some sexy pics of you. All the
Sarah: It's been fun.