Submissive Women And the Trust Issue
Trust is a key issue with submissive women. If they're to go with you to either your place or a hotel and then allow you to take control of them - they simply have to trust you.
For this reason your first face-to-face meeting will be very important. Many submissive women enjoy bondage - they find the thought of being restrained highly sexually stimulating. They may enjoy being handcuffed, tied up or blindfolded but it's easy to see why they'll need to have trust in you before they'll allow themselves to abandon control.
During your first meeting just be yourself. Always tell the truth. First, tell them you're a "nut" about your health so are very, very careful about taking risks. They'll want to hear that.
Second, tell them that you're not into anything extreme and that in the normal day to day world you're really a very nice guy. Don't even bring up controversial or offensive subjects. Let her do most of the talking.
Third, even if you've never had a sexual experience with a submissive woman before, you'll need to lie a bit here and claim that you're experienced. Submissive women insist that a man have some background with other submissive women. It's a must. It's kind of like becoming a brain surgeon. You can't become a brain surgeon at a large hospital until you've completed several hundred such operations. But how can you get the experience if they won't let you operate? it's the same thing here. No submissive woman wants to train you - they want you to do the training. So you're forced to tell a small lie.
Fourth, tell them you promise to respect their limits. This is a key thing they will want to hear. Ask for their limits and nod as they read off their list. Remember them carefully.
Fifth, don't be a tightwad. I've had a dozen submissive women tell me how much it pisses them off when a new man they meet asks them to share the cost of a hotel room. Due to the economic crisis hotel room rates have been declining substantially. Don't mention money at all during your meeting or they'll right you off as a broke loser. And if you use a hotel, be sure it's decent, not one of those cockroach infested cheap motels. Women hate cheapskates too.
Sixth, tell them that you insist that they make a "safe call". A safe call is a telephone call they arrange to make to a friend (usually a girlfriend) during your hotel scene. They instruct the friend that if they don't call at a certain time on a certain evening (timed to fall in the middle of your hotel scene), they're to call the police for assistance.
Insist that they set up a safe call. Most will thank you for your concern and then not bother to set up the call. This is how it usually goes. But if they do make the call - be VERY sure that call gets made! Some submissive women will set up a safe call during the first scene only. After that they'll drop it.
This can be a problem. You'll find that once you get involved in your scene and are sexually aroused - time flies and it's extremely easy to forget all about the call. If you have an alarm watch - use it to be sure that call gets made.
During your pre-scene first meeting she will lay out the activities she enjoys and those she wants to avoid. She sets the parameters within which you will run the show. Once the scene gets going and you both are involved - you're completely in charge.
Once additional note. Many submissive women enjoy having their hands and arms restrained. You can buy a good-quality pair of police type handcuffs on eBay for around twenty bucks. But here's a tip. You can buy a cheaper pair of "play" toy handcuffs that are covered with fuzzy blue or red felt. Since they're play handcuffs, they have a little release lever on them with which the wearer can use to quickly and easily escape them.
I like to bring these play cuffs out the first time I have a scene with a new lady. Since they don't yet trust me enough to allow me to use the police-quality handcuffs, the play cuffs are ideal. They allow you to cuff her and you'll both enjoy the restraint without her having to trust you completely. Most submissive women enjoy my consideration for her comfort.
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